As Baby Girl's second birthday approaches, I find myself thinking about who she is becoming. And what weighs heavily on my mind is what will she be like when she is twenty? thirty? forty? and so on. I wonder what type of woman she'll be, and how do I want to raise her?

I've heard many many people say "I didn't raise you to be..." and I think, well, what did you raise them to be? And then, how did you decide what you want them to be, in order to raise them that way?

Of course, I follow the school of thought that Baby Girl is her own person. She will be who she will be. And I will support her in every way, so long as she is happy. And I'm not talking "happy because I just made 2oo bucks doing a lap dance" happy. Nope...not supporting that! But you know what I mean...if she wants to be a nurse, fine. If she wants to be a teacher, fine. If she wants to be an equestrian teacher, fine. If she wants to work in inventory planning, fine. Or heck, be a SAHM.

Bottom line, I trust that she will evolve into the person she's supposed to be. But I also believe that I will have some sort of hand in it, though that's what I'm struggling with.

First, I acknowledge there are certain things I have already established I want Baby Girl "to be." For example, I really want her to be an avid reader and have a strong in interest in books. This is because I don't believe in television. I don't think we should be glued to the tube, and should instead strengthen our imagination through reading. I've already started off with a lot of reading to/with Baby Girl (from pregnancy on!).

I also want Baby Girl to be comfortable in the water. I don't want her to be afraid of water, and I want her to know how to swim. So we started parent/child swim lessons last summer ('07) and have continued them this summer. Plus, we've gone to the pool and lake to just kick around and have fun.

I expect (is this the same thing as want?) her to be respectful of others, most importantly her parents. I expect her to listen to our directions (and I'm not talking about advice or decisions she needs to make about her own life later on, but directions now. Like, put away the toys.) and to be cooperative. We work hard to converse with Baby Girl at eye-level, as we've found we get better results. Plus I think it helps her sense of communication as well. We also have her repeat things back to us, or if we need to get her to focus our on directions, we take away distracting items. We also introduce other adults with a "Miss" or "Mister" in front of their first name. All this to foster that sense of respect.

Oh, and I also expect her to write thank you notes.

But these are "little things." Things that will help her function as a human being, but what will define her identity?

I am sure there are other things I want Baby Girl to be, but I'm hoping it's just something that is subliminal, something that I can't quite put words to, but have an idea of.

I was at the baby hour at the library a few months back, and one of the other mothers was commenting about how she was such a strong woman and always expected she'd have a girl to be a role model to and teach how to be strong. That really struck me, as I had never thought, "I want Baby Girl to be strong." Perhaps that never crossed my mind because I don't perceive my self to be strong.

But that's an example of an attribute I've been thinking about more and more. How do I decide what skills and strengths I want Baby Girl to possess? Or is it, how will I recognize what skills and strengths she already possesses, and help her develop those further?

For example, when will I be able to say, you know what, she's got great leadership! (as an example)?

As of now, I know she is pensive, cautious, deliberate. Introvert until she gets to know you. Sensitive. Very sensitive. Not so independent.

But how will all this change over the years, and what will it be like getting from Point A to Point B?